Tag Archive: Resolutions

This year I will spend more time exercising than I spend on the internet and lose another pound per month over the next 12 months.  I will also never let my brothers-in-law mix my drinks again.

Ma will resolve to spend less time looking after the boys and more time letting them look after themselves.

Thing 1 and Thing 2 will spend less time “wired” to Nintendo and more time encouraging me to get off my butt to try an keep up with them – i.e. a little more by way of structured family outings and routines.

Pa will lose 1 lb per month over the next 12 months, or suffer the consequences of zilch between meals for the following month.  That’s right, it’s time to get back to my svelte girlish (230lb) figure.

Ma will resolve not to be so perfect so she can find something to give up in 2006.

Thing 1 and Thing 2 will undergo one 24 minute workout per night with success measured in their ability to increase their maximum capacity for chin-ups by 1 per month.  I will forego the chin-up target since I cannot find a bar that will support me (and because my target in 2005 should be fewer chins, not more).

Ma and Pa are going to get out more – even if it’s just for a walk.

Pa is going to stop warning Thing 2 about his temper and start dealing with it.  He is also going to spend substantially less time on the Internet.

Ma is going to get reconnected with her inner self (and maybe then she will stop throwing the kids toys).

Thing 1 is going to learn to stop singing Nintendo jingles in class when others are trying to work.

Thing 2 is going to learn to stop losing his temper and throwing things – especially his fists (I have no idea where he gets that).

Everyone is going to have a Happy New Year (and that’s my last warning)!

Thing 1 is going to get dressed and undressed faster.  His time spent on Nintendo will be inversely proportional to the amount of time we, and his teachers, wait for him to get in and out the door (assuming he ever does go outdoors now that he has Nintendo).

Thing 2 is going to learn to stop slipping his hand down his pants (a la Michael Jackson meets Napoleon).

Ma (alias Doctor Granny) will learn to take better care of herself since no-one else can – we’re too afraid to get that close.

Pa will get a new pair of glasses (because, one pair is not enough to provide the lubrication required to put an interesting spin on an otherwise uneventful year).

To get organized – mentally, physically, financially, professionally and logistically.

Honorable Mention: Obtain a breast reduction and/or Steel Radial “D” cup.