Tag Archive: Headlines

Extreme skydiver Felix Baumgartner became the first person to break the speed of sound without an aircraft while setting five Guinness World records during his 24 mile stratospheric freefall.

Fortunately Canada still has some cents enough to refuse to participate in a bailout package for the still unrepennytant European bankers, governments and people.

It’s James Bondage meets Shades of Grey when the Head of the CIA, the Commander of the International Security Assistance Force and a veteran FBI agent are caught in the fallout when their mistresses blow up in the mother of all hissy fits.  The rest of the country is terrified (but not surprised) to discover that the security of their country is in the hands of some pretty insecure operators.

In a year that opened with anything but a Kodak moment, and despite surviving the latest predicted apocalypse (and a thousand Hollywood spinoffs) we learn that everyone’s heads are in varying shades of a dark place.  The girls have invested all of their time and money in the Shades of Grey novel while their men were preoccupied with the second coming of the Black Ops video game.

(Hurting) Headitor’s note:  Its late, its New Years Eve, and I’SATIREd, sauced please accept that some (or all) of my ^wrec_kollections of the year gone by might be a bit scotchy.  You should double-check my fracts with some more staid and reputable news sources before using any of the stories that I have dismembered from last year in a serious conversation.

Reigning dictators of the middle east were paying close attention to weather reports during what was dubbed the Arab Spring.  Regimes in Egypt, Tunisia and Libya are toppled while others (most notably Syria) continue to tremble.  Meanwhile Sudan is officially split when the Republic of South Sudan is recognized as an independent state.  This was a consequence of years of bloody civil wars and repression from the North (another Middle Eastern state that is run by a man wanted by the World Court on charges of corruption, crimes against humanity and genocide).  For a full Middle Eastern weather report go here.

Politicians and Investment Bankers don’t mind flushing the economy down the toilet so much as it irritates them when their toilets are occupied. Protests against the rich getting richer spill over into the streets of most western business centres. It was a big stink but, as well organized as the protesters thought they were, they failed on a technicality.  They could surround the toilet and maybe occupy a few but their targets were prepared insomuch as they all boasted their own private en suite bathrooms.

Efforts to keep his Italian economy afloat on a sea of scandal and champagne come to an abrupt end for Burlesgue-aroni when he is forced to resign.  The world is only surprised at how long it took his electorate to show him the door and not surprised to learn that Italy’s economic picture is only marginally better than the “debtacle” that is Greece.

Rupert Murdoch, chairman of the world’s 2^nd largest media conglomerate, takes new freedoms with his press by redefining the meaning of news wire.  The sultan of screws and scandals is himself “outed”  when the public learns his flagship News of the World magazine and other papers have been habitually hacking and tapping into the private phone lines of grieving moms and families.

While on the subject of icky, sleazy operations, we learned last year that over a million people are employed in over 85,000 charitable organizations that are competing for donations in Canada.  Some don’t need the money and simply roll the donations into investment portfolios while thousands of employees in the industry draw six figure salaries.  Last year Canadians donated $6.5Billion.  See the full story and the top 100 most efficient charities as rated by MoneySense magazine here.