Tag Archive: Epilogue

And there you have it.  Its been one of those “freegan” years when every “fracking” thing that could go wrong has gone wrong.  Yet, in retrospect, I found that it wasn’t a complete loss.

Vom!  Seems like there have been a lot more Canadian memories than usual bleeding from my old brain pan.  This must mean: 1) that Canada is probably going to fall a few rungs down the UN happy ladder in 2014; and/or 2) I am getting so old as to give a schmeat. Regardless, notwithstanding my  predictions for the New Year, and with a little help from our elected officials (or the folks that elect them), things can only get better.

And there you have it. Based on the understanding that no news is good news,  2012 will be remembered as a terrifically good year.  The hot new words (sqadoosh) and events (gangdam style) pretty much sum it up for what it was.

All indications are that 2011 was a downer of a year punctuated by a tsunami of downfalls, fallout, and tanking economies.  In the immortal words of Will Rogers, “When you find yourself in a hole, stop digging!”  So on that note I will.

And that’s pretty much all I can (or care to) remember.  2010 will go down the drain as a maternal struggle of global proportion that was punctuated with the mother of all oil spills, a spillion wikileaks and bailouts, one blown top that led to the mother of all groundings, some pretty big sinkholes and even bigger earthquakes plus a few other miner catastrophes.

And that’s pretty much all I can (or care to) remember off the top of my head (and the bottom of my glass).  Pig Flu, Pig Crap, Pig Pets and lots of governments and corporate executives everywhere making a sow’s year into an opportunity to pig out on the public purse.

p.s. Forget the scary piggy-pooh you have been hearing about that Mayan calendar, “end of days” scenario in 2012.  Myown Calendar ended last night yet all appears well here in the New Year.  Trust me on this one.  My Grandmother was a medium and I am (still) an extra-large.

So there you have it. If you still don’t believe the end of days is truly upon us, what with the Swiss bankers lying down with Black Holes and the re-emergence of bone fide pirate states, the final harbinger of doom has to be the emergence of Newfoundland as a Have Province while Ontario finds itself in a position where it must “bank” on handouts from the rest of Canada.  The world has clearly flipped polarity. In closing, and at the risk of causing the year to completely implode under the weight of so many International Year monikers, I will dub 2008 the year of the Pirate (and/or the International Year of Words ending in the long vowel e sound as in Ponzi, Piracy, Gimme, and proroguy).

Oh yeah, I almost forgot.  A couple bridges fell down last year, but only one was made in China.

So there you have it.  Eat (if itain’t tainted), Drink (but not so much that you need a Tylenol the following day), and be Merry (but not within earshot of a Muslim – or any other religious fundamentalist).

Well there you have it.  All the explosives in Hollywood, Al Qaeda (and their affiliates) combined couldn’t usurp Mother Nature, China, (and/or their infected roosters) for a majority share in the news stories of 2005.  In Canada, minorities ruled; but despite the fact that all of our best fighters had returned to their hockey rinks, we still found some time to save the world, win a war with the Vikings as well as a few other longstanding border disputes with our mighty neighbours to the south.