Tag Archive: 2012 Year in Review

Jan 01

Predictions for the Year 2013

Face Book becomes the darling of the stock exchange when investors realize that there is a fine line between shirtless and topless. Abreast of this revelation its stock prices bounce back.

 

Conservatives celebrate as Canadians wake up penniless in February.   Later that month the Finance Minister rounds GST up to 10ȼ and declares Canada will be debt free by year end.

 

Nomophobes rejoice as Google releases it’s “Apocalypse” family of smart phones.  The “Zombie” actually screens all of your calls, organizes,  thinks and speaks for you. It also operates on brain candy (yours) as opposed to batteries.  A sleeker, compact model called the “Cockroach” is also available.

 

In a face saving about-face designed to focus on weapons of mass destruction as opposed to women and mistress deception,  American counter-terrorist agencies require that all female agents, stenographers, contacts, and family friends wear full body burkas.

 

India shows it can still stink outside the box(car) when it opts for a cheaper low tech solution to its phew! phew! train problems.  It installs giant pooper scoopers in loo of cow catchers.

In a related prediction:  The s**t does not hit the fan(ancials) when the U.S hires disgruntled Indian railway workers to catch the money as it falls through the cracks of their fickle cliff.

Holy Smoke!  Shortly after his release from house arrest, the Pope’s butler gets burnt at a high stakes poker game in Monaco.  Unable to cover his losses, he is disappeared by some Italians of questionable integrity.

Jan 01

Vital Statistics 2012

 

Vital Statistics

2012

2011

2010

2009

a Canadian dollar is worth $  1.00US $  0.98US $  1.00US $  0.95US
a domestic postage stamp costs $  0.59 $  0.59 $  0.57 $  0.54
a local Bell pay phone call(if u can find one) $  0.50 $  0.50 $  0.50 $  0.50
a liter of Pepsi costs $  2.49 $  1.99 $  2.29 $  2.29
a liter of water costs $  2.29 $  1.99 $  1.99 $  1.89
a liter of milk costs (purchased in a four liter bag) $  1.25 $  1.25 $  1.32 $  1.25
a liter of gasoline costs $  1.14 $  1.20 $  1.13 $  0.95
a loaf of bread costs $  3.39 $  3.39 $  2.99 $  1.99
a paperback novel costs $10.99 $11.99 $10.99 $12.99
a weekly (Time) magazine costs $  6.99 $  6.99 $  6.99 $  6.99
a comic book costs $  2.99 $  2.99 $  2.99 $  2.99
a daily newspaper costs $  1.19 $  1.19 $  1.19 $  1.19
a regular bus ride costs $  3.30 $  3.25 $  3.25 $  2.30
a medium cup of coffee costs $  1.52 $  1.40 $  1.27 $  1.27
a basic cable television package $37.81 $36.01 $31.49 $29.99
a first run movie rental costs $  5.99 $  4.99 $  4.99 $  5.99
an adult movie theatre ticket costs $10.99 $10.99 $10.75 $10.50
a children’s movie theatre ticket costs $  7.99 $  7.99 $  7.99 $  7.99
Minimum wage (Ontario) $10.25/hr $10.25/hr $10.25/hr $  9.50/hr
an adult men’s haircut $18.00 $17.00 $  17.00 $ 15.75
a medium combination pizza $17.25 $17.00 $  15.50 $ 15.50

 

Jan 01

Memory Lane at Our House 2012

Ma will remember 2012 as the year Thing 1 got better.

 

Pa will remember 2012 as the year Thing 1 got better.

 

Thing 1 remembers 2012 as the year he rediscovered indoor plumbing.

Most Memorable News Event: Tool gets back together for a 2012 tour

Favourite Pastime: Rendering foolish.

Favourite Game: Smite

Favourite TV Show: Psych!

Favourite Movie: John Carter of Mars

Favourite Song: Domino the Destitute by Coheed and Cambria

 

Thing 2 remembers 2012 as the year he earned his Black Belt in jiu-jitsu.

Most Memorable News Event: That great computer game sale on Steam

Favourite Pastime: Bugging Ma (booting/bending Pa when Ma is AFKids).

Favourite Game: League of Legends

Favourite TV Show: Psych!

Favourite Movie: John Carter of Mars

Favourite Song: Gangdam Style

Jan 01

New Year Resolutions 2013

I think maybe Pa will definitely try to almost certainly get away to what might be his first live NFL football game.

 

Ma will get back to looking after herself for a change (starting with her posture).

 

Thing 1 will cash in on his free trip to a rock concert anywhere in N. America.

 

Thing 2 will stop bugging ma and pa (except for the car keys).

Jan 01

New Year Renovations 2013

To be determined.

Something might still be cooking in the kitchen but every time I open the oven the fire alarm goes off.

Jan 01

Epilogue 2012

And there you have it. Based on the understanding that no news is good news,  2012 will be remembered as a terrifically good year.  The hot new words (sqadoosh) and events (gangdam style) pretty much sum it up for what it was.

 

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