Tag Archive: 2011 Year in Review

(Hurting) Headitor’s note:  Its late, its New Years Eve, and I’SATIREd, sauced please accept that some (or all) of my ^wrec_kollections of the year gone by might be a bit scotchy.  You should double-check my fracts with some more staid and reputable news sources before using any of the stories that I have dismembered from last year in a serious conversation.

Reigning dictators of the middle east were paying close attention to weather reports during what was dubbed the Arab Spring.  Regimes in Egypt, Tunisia and Libya are toppled while others (most notably Syria) continue to tremble.  Meanwhile Sudan is officially split when the Republic of South Sudan is recognized as an independent state.  This was a consequence of years of bloody civil wars and repression from the North (another Middle Eastern state that is run by a man wanted by the World Court on charges of corruption, crimes against humanity and genocide).  For a full Middle Eastern weather report go here.

Politicians and Investment Bankers don’t mind flushing the economy down the toilet so much as it irritates them when their toilets are occupied. Protests against the rich getting richer spill over into the streets of most western business centres. It was a big stink but, as well organized as the protesters thought they were, they failed on a technicality.  They could surround the toilet and maybe occupy a few but their targets were prepared insomuch as they all boasted their own private en suite bathrooms.

Efforts to keep his Italian economy afloat on a sea of scandal and champagne come to an abrupt end for Burlesgue-aroni when he is forced to resign.  The world is only surprised at how long it took his electorate to show him the door and not surprised to learn that Italy’s economic picture is only marginally better than the “debtacle” that is Greece.

Rupert Murdoch, chairman of the world’s 2^nd largest media conglomerate, takes new freedoms with his press by redefining the meaning of news wire.  The sultan of screws and scandals is himself “outed”  when the public learns his flagship News of the World magazine and other papers have been habitually hacking and tapping into the private phone lines of grieving moms and families.

While on the subject of icky, sleazy operations, we learned last year that over a million people are employed in over 85,000 charitable organizations that are competing for donations in Canada.  Some don’t need the money and simply roll the donations into investment portfolios while thousands of employees in the industry draw six figure salaries.  Last year Canadians donated $6.5Billion.  See the full story and the top 100 most efficient charities as rated by MoneySense magazine here.

Canadian’s, many of them without jobs, underwrite the costs of a state funeral to mourn the passing of a politician who was not a head of state and who never did much for many.  That same week, the world mourns the passing of a guy named Jobs who convinced them they needed to blindly update their suite of distractions that allowed them to achieve next to nothing.

Osama bin Hiden’ was killed in Pakistan on May 2, 2011 by Navy SEAL Team Six with support from CIA operatives on the ground.  After the raid, U.S. forces took bin Hiden’s body to Afghanistan for identification, then buried it at sea within 24 hours of his death.

Another one bites the dust in North Korea. North Korea’s crackpot dictator will join some dear friends for drinks at some nut-bar in the great beyond.

According to some sources, the world’s chocolate supply could run out as early 2014.