Tag Archive: 2008 Year in Review

Jan 01

Book of the Year 2008

Shock Doctrine by Naomi Klein

A real eye opener that became more poignant as the events of this year progressed.  Synopsis:  ‘In order to push through profoundly unpopular economic policies that enrich the few and impoverish the many, there needs to be some kind of collective crisis or disaster – either real or manufactured. A crisis that opens up a “window of opportunity” when people and societies will be too disoriented to protect their own interests…’  Despite what sounds like a dry and boring subject this is actually an excellent and easy read for the average person on the street.  Regardless of political lean, you should read this book even if it is the only book you ever read.  There will definitely be some revelations (at least one per chapter) as it describes the underbelly of some of the most newsworthy global disasters of our time and how they were used by hook and by crook to further the economists’ dreams of a free market utopia that is, well…you be the judge.

Jan 01

Song of the Year 2008

 Stop and Stare by One Republic

 Honorable Mention:

 When I Grow Upby The Pussycat Dolls;

 The Little Thingsby Danny Elfman;

Jan 01

My “Accidental Prophets Award” goes to… the talking heads of Canadian news.

They spent most of October and November warning Canadians that the sky was about to fall with their 24/7 reports that went something like, “danger Will Robinson the sky is falling and no-one in the world is ever going to buy anything ever again so you might as well just sign all of your money over to the bankers and crawl into a hole until the bankers foreclose on that too” message.  Then suddenly, on the night that the Toronto Stock Exchange reported its largest one day loss since Black Tuesday on 1987, a meteor hurtles out of the sky and smashes into Saskatchewan.  Holy Chicken Little batman, they were right! The global financial market meltdown has gone galactic!

Jan 01

My “Maybe Lighting 100 Candles in a Building Full of Gas Guzzlers Wasn’t Such a Good Idea After All” award goes to… General Motors.

Suddenly General Motors finds itself in crash and burn mode. Early in 2008, Toyota overtook GM to become the world’s largest car maker (however, a stubborn if not senile GM head office are appealing the ruling on the grounds that they are still making the world’s largest cars).  In closing out their year long celebration of 100 years of operation, GM closes said operations all over North America and sends every employee who does not qualify for the usual round of multi-million dollar performance bonuses home for a well earned (and open-ended) vacation without pay.

Jan 01

My “If it walks like a duck, and it quacks like a Duck…” award goes to…the music industry.

The music industry is up in arms again.  This time they have learned that their music was being used to torture prisoners at Abu Ghraib and Guantanimo Bay. As bad as that may “sound”, it gets worse – the industry seems less concerned over the alleged terrorists’ human rights and more intent on getting royalties from the government for every time a song was used.

Jan 01

My “Marie Antoinette on Steroids” award goes to… Arnold Schwarzenegger

The California Governor announces a state of emergency in Santa Barbara County, where a wildfire has destroyed 100 homes, several mansions among them, in a celebrity enclave for the rich and famous.   Meanwhile, back in the real world, Californian home foreclosure activity for the previous month of October was pegged at 56,954 properties. That total was down from a peak of more than 100,000 in August, but was still up 13 percent from October 2007.

Jan 01

My “When Good News Turns Bad” award goes to… Hormel Foods Corporation

As 2008 south of the border came to a close amidst a tsunami of bankruptcies, property foreclosures and factory layoffs, one Austin, Minnesota plant reported that it would be adding additional shifts and operating around the clock in order to keep up with customer demand.  Alas, the company in question is Hormel Foods Corporation, the makers of Spam, that shiny tin of pig renderings that is emblematic of hard-times.

Jan 01

Headlines you won’t see in those mainstream Year-end Reviews 2008

(Hurting) Headitor’s note:  Its late, its New Years Eve, and I’SATIREd, sauced please accept that some (or all) of my wreckollections of the year gone by might be a bit scotchy.  You should double-check my fracts with some more staid and reputable news sources before using any of the stories that I have dismembered from last year in a serious conversation.

Jan 01

“Bee afraid, bee very, very afraid”

According to Dr. Vini Khurana, a leading cancer researcher, it won’t be so very long before the bees are not the only ones that will be disappearing. He issued a startling warning in April 2008: “cell phones could kill more people than smoking.” In a new study he found a growing body of evidence that using a cell phone for 10 years or more can double the risk of brain cancer.

Jan 01

“Many athletes just phone it in at the Beijing Olympics”

An otherwise impressive and extremely tasteful opening ceremony for the Summer Olympic Games is marred by the spectacle of 1000’s of athletes marching into the stadium waving and/or talking on their cell phones.  Meanwhile, the Canadian contingent does us something less than proud as they marched in decked out with hats perched sideways, swinging our flag in a spastic, epileptic fashion and proudly displaying other Canadian flags that were disrespectfully scribbled over in a graffitiesque signature fashion.  Canada sent 332 athletes which was the 7th largest contingent at Beijing.  We finished 14th out of the 204 countries in attendance by walking away with a total of 18 (3 gold, 9 silver and 6 bronze) medals.  Hard to say how many of the 18 medal winners were phoning it in with the adolescent opening day gangsta mob we saw, but I know for a fact that at least one of the gold medalists wasn’t  – because he was a horse.

Suggestion for our 2012 Olympic Committee (from a reasonably successful albeit unpaid championship athlete and coach): It might be an interesting exercise for some university psychology major and/or whoever is responsible for selecting and funding our next army of Olympic hopefuls to review the films of the 2008 opening ceremonies to determine who was focused on the events to come and who was already celebrating (as in the “what are you trying to celebrate” sense of the word) the pinnacle of their 15 minutes of Olympic fame.

Older posts «

» Newer posts