Tag Archive: 2004 Year in Review

Jan 01

Statistic of the Year 2004

Ten Fortune 500 drug companies profited about $36 billion in 2002 – more than the combined profits of the remaining 490 businesses.  Those 10 U.S. drug companies spent 14% on research and development, compared to 31% on marketing and administration.  The Prescription Drug industry has the biggest lobbying group in Washington D.C. (675 lobbyists at a cost of over $91 million) and spends huge amounts of money on political campaign contributions ($85 million in 1999-2000).  According to Families USA, in the year 2000, 6 months after Vioxx went on sale, Merck & Co. netted $40.36 billion in sales. Of that amount 17% was profit, 15% was spent on advertising, marketing and administration and 6% was directed to research and development ~ so much for the myth that drugs are expensive because of the high price of Research and Development. 

Runner Up: Moscow boasts more millionaires than any other city in the world.

Jan 01

My “Shirt Off Our Backs” award goes to… Immigration Canada.

After years of being accused of bending over backwards to attract every Tom, Dick and Achmed to our land of the free (loader?), Immigration Canada attempts to make things right by giving the green light to any foreign strippers on the premise that they will in turn bend over backwards for Canadians.

Jan 01

My “Ice Boxes for Eskimos” award goes to… electronics manufacturers.

They successfully flooded the market (and marketing) with sexy digital music recorders of the MP3/iPod variety replete with enough memory to store a kazillion songs. After the initial joy of unwrapping these wonderful gadgets, trendy consumers caught up in this must have mania find themselves singing the blues. They (and their MP3 players) are left to ride out the New Year with an empty feeling asking themselves over and over (perhaps a kazillion times), now that I can store as many songs as I want, where can I find something worth recording.

Jan 01

My “Brain Drain – It’s the American Way” award goes to… Prime Minister Paul Martin.

While addressing Canadian soldiers in CFB Gagetown (April 15, 2004), he refers to Canada’s contribution to the successful invasion of “Norway” on D-day (not once, but twice).  Sources say its all part of a cleverly conceived strategy designed to level the intellectual playing field for his upcoming meeting with President Bush.  In a related story, our PM cites education as one of his party’s funding priorities.

Jan 01

My “Everyone Wants a Piece of the Action in Canadian Politics” (or “Credible Alternative”) award goes to… former NDP MP Svend Robinson.

In an attempt to prove that he has what it “takes” to “take” his party to the next level, Svend “takes” a piece of jewelry without paying for it. Caught with his hand in the cookie jar, Svend (again) follows standard political form and announces that he will be “taking” medical time off in lieu of resignation (and/or doing time) for his low budget boondoggle.

Jan 01

My “Stiff Penalties” award goes to… Merck & Co. (Vioxx).

Vioxx, a powerful arthritis medication, is recalled based upon clinical evidence (not to be confused with the same preliminary findings during its FDA reviews) that twice as many people who took the drug experienced a nasty side effect called cardiovascular disease. Faced with potential settlements of $10BillionUS (or more) from as many as 27,000 possible wrongful death suits, Merck & Co. is rumored to be preparing a defense based on the understanding that none of the 27,000 dead persons died from Arthritis and (if they could communicate from beyond) all of those “stiffs” would agree that they are no longer suffering from the pain of Arthritis.  The lawyers of the deceased are countering that claim with scientific experts who will testify that rigor mortis is nothing more than the most advanced state of arthritis.

Breaking story: “Push(er) over Vioxx” –  Merk & Co. competitor, Pfizer Inc. recently admits that their popular painkiller, Celebrex “might” also heighten the risk of heart and stroke if you can trust the results of 1 out of 2 trials.  As I write, pressure is being brought to bear on Health Canada to pull Celebrex off of shelves.

Related story:  Drug companies are advertising SSRI anti-depressants for use on children (and other individuals) suffering the “debilitating effects of Social Anxiety Disorder (SAD)”  For those of us that weren’t born yesterday, that’s what we used to call shyness. There is growing evidence that SSRIs “cause or ex-acerbate a wide range of abnormal mental and behavioral conditions…  these reactions can worsen the individual’s mental condition and can result in suicidality, violence, and other forms of extreme abnormal behavior.”

Jan 01

My “Boldly Go Where No-One has gone Before” (or “How Far will Big Drug Go to Root Out New Markets for their Cures”) award goes to… a team of Italian and Korean scientists.

They have developed a prototype of a miniature remote-controlled crawling robot complete with six legs, a battery and a teensy weensy camera. Although still working the bugs out of their, um – bug, they are already generating headlines like, “Robot pills crawl through intestines to find disease”, and “Tiny gadgets could replace more painful invasive procedures.” The FDA is already predicting spin-offs in the form of more personalized tax audits and such.

Jan 01

My “Necessity is the Mother of Invention” (or Reality Television – Wakeup Call) award goes to… flat screen televisions.

As North Americans get fatter parked in front of their king sized curvacious TV and computer monitors, those same screens are getting thinner so we can belly up for more of the same, oblivious to their residual effects measured in terms of lesser living space and larger lap tops.   For those who have lost the innuendo, refer to the Oscar Wilde classic, “The Picture of Dorien Grey.

Jan 01

My “Pot Calling the Kettle Black” award goes to… Canadians in general.

After ridiculing their neighbors to the south for their lack of good judgment when electing Baby Bush for another 4 years in office, Canadians vote for Don Cherry as one of the Top 10 Greatest Canadians ever.

Jan 01

Headlines you won’t see in those mainstream Year-end Reviews 2004

(Hurting) Headitor’s note:  Its late, its New Years Eve, and I’SATIREd, sauced please accept that some (or all) of my wreckollections of the year gone by might be a bit scotchy.  You should double-check my fracts with some more staid and reputable news sources before using any of the stories that I have dismembered from last year in a serious conversation.


Older posts «

» Newer posts