Thing 1 is going to get dressed and undressed faster. His time spent on Nintendo will be inversely proportional to the amount of time we, and his teachers, wait for him to get in and out the door (assuming he ever does go outdoors now that he has Nintendo).
Thing 2 is going to learn to stop slipping his hand down his pants (a la Michael Jackson meets Napoleon).
Ma (alias Doctor Granny) will learn to take better care of herself since no-one else can – we’re too afraid to get that close.
Pa will get a new pair of glasses (because, one pair is not enough to provide the lubrication required to put an interesting spin on an otherwise uneventful year).