Category Archive: 2022
The Chinese called it the Year of the Tiger. The United Nations dubbed 2022 the International Year of Glass and the International Year of Artisanal Fisheries and Aquaculture. It was the year that the Commercial Video Games industry [Pong] and the Egg McMuffin turned 50. Commercials (a 10 minute radio spot advertising a new NY apartment complex) turned 100 years old in 2022 which also marked the 100th anniversary of:
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The discovery of vitamin E
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the partition of Northern Ireland and The Irish Free State and their ensuing Irish Civil War
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the completion of the Lincoln Memorial in Washington DC
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the Rose Bowl sports stadium
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today’s Wimbledon Center Court stadium
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the Canadian Tire Company
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the Klondike ice cream bar,
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the Food Blender
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the world’s 1st vampire film (Nosferatu)
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British Columbia and New Brunswick change driving from left to right side of Roads
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The Herrin Massacre a two-day strike at the Southern Illinois Coal Co. ends bloody, and 21 people – most of them strike-breakers – are killed
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The words: air traffic controller, anesthesiologist, baloney, brand name, clear-cutting, deep-fry, down-to-earth, eye shadow, French kiss, mad money, mountain gorilla, polyester, robot, tracksuit, and xenophobe.
That’s right folks! In spite of the best efforts of antivaxxers, xenophobes, extreme right radicals, and Vladimir Putin, most of the rest of us seem have come a long way over the past 100 years.
I thought I might just forget about the [SPOILER ALERT!] permacrisis that was 2022 and enjoy a normal New Year’s Eve for a change, but the voices in my head escaped to remind me that it is important that we never forget and/or ignore even the worst years of our lives so as to learn, rinse, and never repeat them again. That said, we took a shot (lots of them actually) at dredging up last year’s most important history lessons.
As always, we’ll do our best to dismember the events through the lens of a glass half full (if not fuller). To that end, and in anticipation that our cups may, at times, runneth over while we enthusiastically attempt to achieve said goal, we asked Santa for and received this spanking new spill proof keyboard we are currently hammered on.
Grab your plungers and buckle up your hip waders folks, it’s time again to plunge down memories drain.
“Putin pulls a Hitler”
The world’s most dangerous psychopathic narcissist tears a page from Hitler’s playbook and invades the free state of Ukraine perhaps believing, like Hitler, that the rest of Europe (and the world) would sit back and tut. Might have worked too but for the facts that: 1) Putin’s army was not nearly as formidable as Hitler’s; and 2) the Ukrainians kicked their ass. So far, most of Europe and the rest of the world (that is not also run by authoritarian megalomaniacs) chose to align with the right side of history and/or Winston Churchill’s dictate, “those who fail to learn from history are doomed to repeat it.” On the other hand, Putin, all those old school Russian patriots, his state controlled news agencies, and a host of Fox News pundits who are continuing to enable him seem to have forgotten what happened when Hitler, yesteryear’s most dangerous psychopathic narcissist, invaded mother Russia with an army that was vastly more powerful than Putin’s.
So that happened. A megalomaniac’s attempt to turn back time and make the USSR great again (or rather to make his Russian speaking neighbors not so great again) blows up in everyone’s face. Not the least being his own and those of his own people. The good news: when Russia is called upon to pay reparations, its people will be for the most part unaffected given that all their money has always been in Putin’s pockets anyway.
The Ukrainian People
The Ukrainians represent a beacon of hope and an example for the rest of us. The next time you find yourself hard done by and surrendering to whatever real or perceived woes you are dealing with, turn on the news, take look at Ukraine, buck up, and fight back. The Ukrainians are the most courageous Russian speaking people on the planet. That’s right Putin. You and your country of Russian serfs who have surrendered to your yoke of oppression without a fight are spineless pussies by comparison.
Another courageous group of people who are fighting like hell against an authoritarian, nationalistic, psycopathy in order to change their world for the better.
Russia
In a related story: Putin’s American understudy, Donald Trump was russian’ to launch his own assault on reality, a social media platform called Truth Social boasting absolutely no censorship and by extension zero fact checking. Truth be known, like its brainchild, it left lots to be desired. Fortunately, he no longer has the launch codes (we hope) to launch anything more dangerous than that.
Volodymyr Zelenskyy
Perhaps the only real world leader that is alive today. Against all odds when the rest of the world had already rolled over and ceded imminent victory to Adolph Hitler’s diabolical Russian understudy, the President of Ukraine stepped up and inspired hope (not fear) in his people and the world. Spartan King Leonidas would be proud (and anyone else who is not proud of Volodymyr Zelenskyy and his people should be ashamed).
Runners Up:
Marina Ovsyannikova, a journalist and the only Russian with the balls to publicly call out Putin’s lie on State news. She was subsequently fined for “discrediting” Russia’s army (which seemed quite capable of doing that all by themselves). She continues to be a thorn in the Kremlin’s side. She is currently facing charges that could lead to 10 years in prison.
Related Quote: “I go to the courts like I go to work… I deeply regret that I never got around to acknowledging all the greatness of the Russian world. I could not express my gratitude to Putin on behalf of 30 million Russians who live in the 21st century without sewers and warm toilets” — Marina Ovsyannikova
“Doh!mocrazy in the USA”
Despite the fact that everyone was predicting that any person (or primate) with a pulse on the Republican ticket was going to crush their Democratic rival in last year’s midterm elections, many of the Republican wingnuts that were endorsed, if not handpicked by The Doh!nald were rejected by voters. Although the Republicans still managed to capture a majority in Congress, and re-stock their “swamp” with no less than 126 election deniers across Senate, Congress, and some Governor’s mansions; the good news lies in the fact that “Nobody who denied the legitimacy of the 2020 election has won a 2022 race to run future elections in a swing state.” In short, although he failed in his bid to “drain the swamp” (and might have even polluted it beyond hope), the Doh!nald managed to drain the expected tsunami of republican victories. No-one can say for sure how good (or bad) he and/or the Republican Party are feeling about that; but since me and my voices are writing this history that makes him and them by definition the losers.
Climate Change
Related Story: “Buyer Beware, If yowna beach property!”
After Hurricane Fiona smacks Atlantic Canada we are told that unless we move a lot faster on putting a lid on our carbon emissions, the lids on our houses will be the least of our worries when we face more, and more extreme weather events to the point where the world will be become uninsurable.
The eCoin implant for bladder control by Valencia Energy.
Forget about Lecanemab (story to follow if I don’t forget) and all those other marvelous breakthroughs that may or may not hold water when their inaugural tests and/or prototype installations are finally completed over the next two to five years. For those old-timers that can’t wait that long for relief, this nickel-sized neurostimulator that is implanted just above the ankle can be tapped into right now. Moreover, the pulses intensity and therefore their relief can be controlled with a remote.
Absolutely nobody did it better than Nobody in 2022. Technically this movie was released in 2021 but since few if any people were able to see it in the theatres and it has still not been released on any streaming service, nobody is likely to challenge our choice (but if you do, don’t call us, take it up with Nobody… if you think you can).
Kill Bill meets Snakes on Plane. A wild ride!
From the Archive: (Best Movie that I saw for the first time this year): Idiocracy
If you haven’t seen the movie Idiocracy, you probably won’t unless you have access to the Disney Channel. In the event you don’t have the latter, here is a synopsis (Spoiler Alert): (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=522T2axRBcU.) From what I am seeing today, the only thing it got wrong was the year. Forget 500 years into the future, we’re almost there now!
Zombified by Falling in Reverse
Honourable mention:
Make Believe by Memphis May Fire
I’m Good (Blue) by David Guetta, Bebe Rexha
Hatten Toshi by Azur Taupe