First Newfoundland refuses to fly the flag over its offices in response to what their Premier claims were unfulfilled Liberal election promises vis a vis offshore oil royalties. Then news breaks that federal officials have signed contracts in China for the manufacture of Canadian flag lapel pins that they are giving away freely at tax-payers expense. Finally, they track down the original flag that was unveiled over Parliament in 1965 to a dead Liberal MP who took it when he moved to Belgium. At one point in the negotiations to have it returned, the widow of the deceased threatens to sell it on eBay if Canada doesn’t pony up with what she claims are outstanding pension payments that are due to her. The Flag is returned just in time for July 1, Canada Day celebrations.
Category Archive: 2005
Jan 01
“Insurance Industry shifts their attention from damage to damage control”
One year after their campaign of doom and gloom predictions and political pressure designed to raise the price on their premiums, Canada’s insurance industry posts a record $4.2 billion profit. Although policy holders consider a class action law suit, nothing “falls” of it for fear that a win would result in the need for increased insurance premiums.
Jan 01
“Bextra! Bextra! Read all About it!
Drug giant Pfizer Inc. is back(pedaling) in the news again. This year it has “agreed” to a “request” from regulators to pull their arthritic pain medication, Bextra, off the market in Canada, the U.S. and Europe. The U.S. Food and Drug Administration has also ”asked” that all other COX-2 inhibitors, such as Celebrex (another Pfizer product), carry the strongest possible warnings about increased risk of heart attack and stroke.
(Hurting) Headitor’s note: Why did you think they called them pain killers?”
Jan 01
“Dither this eh!”
It was a case of “Sticks and Stones” versus the “Weaponization of Space” and Goliath lost when our Canadian Ambassador to the US, Frank McKenna, turned the tables and public opinion against Americans when he informed them that, we didn’t dither (on our support for their Missile Defense Shield), they did when they said they would lift their beef ban and didn’t. Note: The USDA had been ready to reopen the border on March 7, but the ranchers lobby group R-CALF convinced a Montana judge to block that decision, arguing that Canada doesn’t adequately test for mad cow disease. The ban was finally lifted several months later on July 14th 2005.
In a related story: Two years ago, a NAFTA decision on August 13, 2003 ruled that the 18 per cent tariff imposed on softwood lumber by the United States is too high. NAFTA decisions are legally binding and must be put into effect within 60 days. Two weeks later, a World trade Organization (WTO) panel concluded that the U.S. wrongly applied harsh duties on Canadian softwood exports. Now, almost 2 years to the day later, on Aug. 10, 2005, an “extraordinary challenge panel” under NAFTA dismissed American claims that the earlier NAFTA decision in favor of Canada violated trade rules. “This is a binding decision that clearly eliminates the basis for U.S.-imposed duties on Canadian softwood lumber. We fully expect the United States to abide by this ruling, stop collecting duties and refund the duties collected over the past three years,” he said. In December, the Americans reduced their duties by almost half to 10.8%. The decision is expected to save Canadian lumber companies $600 million a year; however, it is still unclear how or if the U.S. will refund some of the billions in duties it has already collected … and once again, the U.S. lumber industry signaled it might appeal.
Jan 01
“True Reality T.V. Unveiled” or “Proof that there is nothing but crap on TV”
A high tech $48,000 bathroom replete with an LCD flat panel TV screen, satellite receiver, digital surround sound speakers, a DVD player and access to thousands of songs stored on an Apple iPod was unveiled on March 8th at a trade show in London, England.
Jan 01
“Cows get mad in Canada but south of the border they are just going through a phase”
The borders for Canadian Beef are opened as a result of an American court of appeals judgment in favour of the Canadians. The judgment comes on the heels of an infected American cow that cannot be traced to Canada. Where’s that story. No-one knows. Apparently American cows don’t get mad, that’s just the way they are.
Jan 01
“Lucky 7”
7 Russian submariners are rescued by British and American robots.
7 American astronauts return home in previously loved space vehicle.
Jan 01
“Bank Robbers roll out top gun”
One business day after Canadian Imperial Bank of Commerce Chief Executive Officer John Hunkin officially retired, taking with him about $52-million (Canadian) in stock and other securities on top of nearly $15-million in salary and bonuses since he took over as CEO in 1999, CIBC announces that it has agreed to pay $2.92 billion to resolve allegations that it participated in some of the fraudulent accounting deals within Enron Corp. The massive settlement will cost the bank more than it’s entire ($1.99-billion) profit for last year and represents the biggest settlement so far for former investors of the disgraced energy trader, who have filed a $25-billion class-action lawsuit against several of the most powerful financial institutions in the United States and Canada. For CIBC, the Enron settlement is a costly and painful culmination of various regulatory problems that have afflicted the bank in recent years. In late 2003, the bank paid $80-million to U.S. regulators to settle allegations it aided and abetted the accounting fraud at Enron. It also struck a $125-million deal in 2005 with the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission and New York State Attorney General Eliot Spitzer to settle its alleged role in a mutual fund trading scandal.
Jan 01
“Smart Meters, Dumb Predictions”
Anyone remember how everyone and their guru was predicting that technology was going to shorten our work-week, give us more free time and simplify our lives? Technically (in the be careful what you wish for sense) they are batting 2 out of 3, as those who lost their full-time jobs to automation, were quickly joined by the automators when their Hi-Tech firms downsized and moved to China. Finally, the announcement that everyone will be using Smart Meters by the end of the decade delivers on prediction #3. Simply stated, anyone who is at home between the hours 7 in the morning and 5 at night (which is pretty much anyone not working in China), will be charged twice as much for the electricity that they use. Furthermore homemakers are asked to refrain from using washers, driers, dishwashers, air-conditioners, furnaces until after 10 o’clock at night. Yes, technology is delivering on its promise for tomorrow. We are straight, clean and simply going to be living in an Amish paradise.
Jan 01
Visionary Quote of the Year award
While on the subject of what they say versus what they mean, we have all heard the dire warnings that energy conservation is all about saving something for our children and grandchildren. That’s the message we want to hear, that’s the one that makes sense, and that’s the one the Corporate PR spin doctors are ensuring will be ingrained in our collective psyche. Fortunately, for us every now and then we elect political representatives who are not as astute or eloquent in their dispensation of the company line as in the following quote from a leading federal official:
“A senior federal official said the government hopes Canada will be able to increase supply [for export to U.S.] because higher gasoline prices will encourage Canadians to conserve.”
— Ottawa Citizen ‘Martin offers more oil, but there is none’ Sept. 3, 2005