Category Archive: 2004

Jan 01

2004 Year-end Review

The Chinese called it the Year of the Monkey. The United Nations dubbed 2004 the International Year of Rice. It was the year that JM Barrie’s Peter Pan, “The Boy Who Would Not Grow Up” turned 100.  2004 also marked the 100th anniversary of:

  • the discovery of the Oseberg Viking burial ship;
  • the discovery of the Tomb of Nefertari;
  • the American Lung Association;
  • Dr. Seuss’s birth;
  • the wristwatch;
  • air-conditioning;
  • the answering machine;
  • the hamburger’s introduction to America;
  • stainless steel;
  • the Fédération Internationale de Football Association (FIFA);
  • the automatic car transmission;
  • bulldozer;
  • the tea bag;
  • iced tea
  • the banana split;

How could any year possibly rice to the occasion of honoring such a list of centenarians?  Waits a minute, Oseberginning to feel my ship about to embark on another tangent, and I’se always been one tomb nefertari on New Year’s Eve when it comes to striking out in ”different” directions.  I seems to recall the odd occasions last year when Ma and I could be found screaming our lungs out in association with the effort of getting Thing 1 and Thing 2, our boys who, at times would just as soon not grow up, to try a little harder Seuss to do just that.  Coincidentally, the boys received wristwatches from their grandparents for Christmas this year.  2004 was certainly not a year that put a lot of wear and tear on the old air-conditioner; however, Canada did mark the answering machine’s 100th birthday with the announcement of plans to establish a national telemarketing no call registry.  Americans continued to hork down gobs of hamburger even though it still wasn’t coming from Canada and; meanwhile, north of the 49th, Canada would close a hockey camp in Sudbury after 19 children and 6 staff members were stricken by the effects of hamburger tainted with the E. Coli bacteria.

So steel yourself everyone. The kick-off is upon us.  Just give me a minute to shift gears (oops, make that beers) before I bulldoze my way through some of the events of 2004 as I remember them (but beer in mind that I drink to forget so don’t get too tea-ed off if I don’t bag all the big stories; or in the event that my insights sound overly bananas as I split hairs en route to a good story).

Jan 01

Story of the Year 2004

Great South-East Asian Tsunami kills over 140,000.

An otherwise uneventful year in the realm of natural disasters, is capped with the mother of all disasters when, on the day after Christmas, a level 9 earthquake sparks tsunamis that will take an estimated 120,000 lives across the islands and coastal areas of the Indian Ocean.  In the wake of this tragedy, an unprecedented global tidal wave of charity and compassion proves that, despite a lack of peace on earth, we are taking a step in the right direction with some goodwill toward man.

“At 7:59 a.m. local time, about 150 kilometres off the coast of the Indonesian island of Sumatra, two tectonic plates heaved under the sea along a 1,000 kilometre-long fault line. The result: a magnitude 9 earthquake – the most powerful the world had seen in 40 years. Parts of the sea floor rose by about 10 metres, displacing hundreds of cubic kilometres of seawater. That generated a tsunami – a series of huge waves that quickly fanned out across the Indian Ocean.”

                     — excerpt from the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation Website  

Jan 01

Most Ridiculous (or at least the gooniest) Headline of the Year 2004:

I didn’t intend to hurt him

A frustrated Vancouver Canuck cries as he awaits league sanctions for his part in accidentally chasing up behind and sucker punching an opponent (from behind) and then piling onto his back to ride him head first into the ice thus knocking him unconscious and breaking his neck.  Only partially convinced of his sincerity, the NHL gets tough and suspends the player for the balance of the season.  He will later receive what constitutes a slap on the wrist from criminal court proceedings.

Jan 01

Conspiracy of the Year 2004:

“Guy bashing takes its toll with Hisicanes Frances ($9 billion), Charley ($14 billion), and Ivan ($18 billion)”  

Doh! Can’t we do anything right? Ivan Mother Nature can’t resist taking a chip shot at “man”kind’s waning self-esteem.  Hurricanes Frances, Charley, and Ivan are suddenly the bad guys. Whatever happened to naming hurricanes after women (or, at least, taking turns).  Alas, I guess it’s a sign of the times.  Move over Histerectomy, Mentruation and Guynacology.  Here comes the Hisicane.

Jan 01

Sleeper story of the year 2004:

“Controversy over euthanasia just won’t die.”

No matter how hard they try, its adversaries just can’t put it rest.

Jan 01

Movie of the Year – 2004

H2O starring Paul Gross

It was pretty much your same old, same old (that’s same old2 for you math and science aficionados) kind of year at the movies.  Although Shrek 2 and Spiderman 2 actually outdid all others at the Box Office, I am inclined to give my vote for best new movie to a different 2, in the form of “H2O”, a Canadian made-for-television mini-series with a dark and sinister (or what dark and sinister personalities who don’t normally comment publicly on movies – let alone Canadian movies – referred to as a “ludicrous and cheesy”) plot-line.   I know there will be a lot of good (and bad) Christians out there who will be shouting on high, “Water you talking about heathen? Have you forgotten the Passion of Christ, and His ability to literally walk on (and, in box office terms, all over) H2O.”  After careful consideration of the facts, I am still inclined to give the nod to H2O, if for no other reason than the fact that even God and His Christian Fundamentalists should only get one vote for their chosen one, and they already burnt it on G.W. Bush.

Jan 01

Book of the Year 2004

The Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown

Jan 01

Song of the Year 2004

The Reason” by Hoobstank

Jan 01

Joke of the Year 2004

The Canadian Imperial Bank of Commerce (CIBC)

Despite being informed by a West Virginian junkyard owner that sensitive CIBC customer information is routinely being misdirected to his fax, CIBC bean counters do not take steps to rectify the problem until he spills the beans publicly on a Canadian News magazine show.  While performing damage control, CIBC must also factor in a host of other security faux pas not the least of which being reports of an Automated Teller Machine in Moncton, New Brunswick that was distributing Canadian Tire money to unsuspecting customers.

Jan 01

Underdog of the Year 2004

The Canadian Dollar

The mercurial rise of the Canadian Dollar in relation to its mighty neighbor to the south (currently pegged at $0.83US) leads Canadians to actually notice when they receive Canadian Tire money from bank ATM machines

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