“Rumors of his dying were greatly… misinterpreted”

Proving that only his beard was dying, Osama bin Slidin’ silences previous rumors that he was at death’s door when he appears in this year’s 9/11 state of the nation redress sporting a trendy new makeover that some interpret as evidence that Al Queda might be one step closer to getting with the program.  Yes, after all of their bluster and bombs fail to overcome Anna Nicole, Paris Hilton and Britney Spears for America’s attention, Al-Qaeda re-chanels their effort from shock and sabotage to schlock and superficial – it works, for a minute (now back to our program).