Pa will never, never, never ever again (even if it kills him) resort to dieting to lose weight. Olympic wrestlers and high fashion models everywhere would marvel at the lengths he went over this past month to drop 4 pounds over last year? No small feat for a guy whose feet were limping to the Doctor more than they were racing (alright lumbering) around the track in 2009.
Ma will let Thing 2 go hungry (or fend for himself) at least every other night that he refuses to eat the same meal that she prepares for the rest of her nestlings. She will also attempt to silently let Pa muddle through from point A to B (at least once every other trip) the same way he has (apparently) accidentally managed to do without accident on all those occasions that she was not there to Globally Position and critique his every motor movement from her absolute (must) “control” position in the passenger seat.
Thing 1 will watch the BBC World News once every week to offset his ever growing digital divide to reality. He will also be launched (i.e. sent from his room) as opposed to grounded whenever his attitude indicates he has forgotten who really controls the vertical and the horizontal in these parts.
Thing 2 will learn to adapt to eat, sleep, and life cycles other than his own.